body issues

let's face it. as women, we always have body issues. None of us have ever been entirely happy with our bodies, and I'm no exception. I've always had issues with my body, even when I had no reason to. About three years ago, when I was at my thinnest and fittest (not a word) I wasn't happy with myself, still. I had a small tummy, but I hated my big hips and small, um, ahem, girls. Since then I've gained about forty pounds, and that really makes me think about how good I really looked. My "girls" have grown, but so has my tummy, hips, thighs, you name it. When I look back on that now, I love the way I looked then. I was thin, not fat or stick-skinny with nice curves. I wish I looked that way still. What is it about MARRIAGE? Not that I regret it, where would I be without my DH? But gaining the weight sucks, and it was more than the 10-15 they say you pack on..which I could have dealt with. No, forty!

So here begins my journey. I've "tried" a lot of dieting, and it always fails, but seriously now is the time and I have to do this. I have to control my weight before it gets too out of hand. I need support, so anybody that want to donate encouraging words/advice, I'm all ears. I plan on walking/yoga/eating healthy/vitamins..anything I can.

I also feels it's important to stay busy. I think I have a tendency to snack when I laze around on my butt. I am going to begin as of now. As a way to actually keep myself on this, I am going to post my weight. *cringe* That can wait til tomorrow.

I want to feel pretty again, heck, even sexy, because when I was smaller, I did feel sexy. I felt womanly and beautiful and I want to get back to that. Here's to hoping.

Now, bed. Up at 4 freakin' 30 for work. ugh.