so it's been awhile.

about two years I think. I really hate this blogging thing. I mean, I hate it.

I've tried to do this so many times, because "journaling" is good for you, I've heard. It's good to keep a track of what's going on and how I'm doing. But I hate it. I always think it's a great idea to blog, because I LOVE reading blogs.

But then I try to start my own, and..then I can't think of anything to say and I just get annoyed because I hate typing. and I'm not interesting.

So, I really have no idea what to say. After a two year break, I have no updates.

Sooo, today was ok. I went to the eye doctor this morning for an exam. You have to get those yearly by law if you want to buy contacts. I've been putting it off for MORE than a few months because I didn't want to waste my money on contacts. That makes no sense, does it? How do you waste money on tools to help you see? You can't. So the contacts I had been wearing were disgusting. I mean..dirty. Couldn't see out of them and they were killing my eyes. Got a fresh pair and I feel like a whole new person.

Today at work was interesting. Since my company is merging with Wells Fargo, we are in the late stages of conversion and things are getting more..involved. Today was all about dual control stuff. This new system is weird, and I have decided I don't like it. Yet, anyway.

A coworker of mine brought some cake pops from Starbucks to work, and we all devoured them. I have officially decided sweets are disgusting because that was WAY too much for me. They were delicious and terrible at the same time.

I really want to try Weight Watchers. After watching my body balloon to a horribly disgusting level, it's now or never. I've been dieting on and off since January and am embarrassed to admit, I've not accomplished a single thing. So I've decided for my birthday I want to get on Weight Watchers. Thing is, my birthday isn't for another almost 2 months..so I'm trying to get it as an early present. Need to change things for myself. I don't like talking about my weight, it makes me super uncomfortable but I guess that's what this is all about. I need support and motivation and help to stay on track..so I'm hoping a system of some sort will help me. Not to mention I have a friend whose been on it for about 2 months, and has lost about 30 lbs on it. Impressive. SUGGESTIONS?!

Farewell, for now.

fall is here!

so, I have been weary of getting too excited when the weather gets cool, because it has been so back and forth. one day it is nice and cool, the next, it's sweltering hot again. But I think it is finally here! It's been cool for days on end, and I am loving every second of it. I just can't wait until it's cold enough for fireplaces and hot chocolate, and boots and sweaters..love it!

On a side note, I love candles. And my favorite candle in the world right now is "Leaves" by Bath and Body Works. Get it if you have a common affection for candles!

I got my hair cut and colored today. I'm now a dark brunette again, and my hair is pretty short..but I like it! Had to get rid of the blonde since Fall, as I stated, is here!

Who else is obsessed with Brand New Eyes by Paramore!? I LOVE IT! I think Misguided Ghosts is my favorite song on it, but I love them all. Hayley Williams is a genius.

I am super excited! I love this time of year. My birthday is coming up, and Halloween. And tons of other great things, and it's just the perfect time of year, in my opinion.

We got Matt's financial aid refund in the mail..it was the most it's ever been. It's nice to have a little extra money, but it doesn't matter, because we have to pay it back anyway! ha.

But I have decided I'm going to get Matt a Zune HD for Christmas. He wants it, but since it's almost 300 dollars, he claims he doesn't. But he's getting it and I'm really excited about it! You can check it out: http://www.zune.net/en-us/products/zunehd/zunehd32/features.htm

Sorry Candice, for my lack of posting! I will try my darndest to be better about this!

Kristin ♥

intolerance

I've never been more disgusted or offended in my life, to tell you the truth.

To start off, I had a fantastic day at church yesterday. I enjoyed the talks in Sacrament meeting and I even enjoyed Sunday School, which usually is a little less fun for me. It was about eternal marriage.

Now we Latter-Day Saints believe that being married in the temple binds our marriage not only on earth, but eternally in Heaven as well...meaning we believe marriage will last forever.

My hubs and I were married in the temple.

Well, after church I was still on my spiritual high, and took to my Twitter saying that "I think it's sad most marriages end at death, not mine! :-)"

If you find that offensive, or that I'm rubbing my religion in your face, I'm very sorry, and that's not how I mean that comment.

Anyway, so a girl I know. We grew up together, but went to different high schools and she moved away..but I found her on facebook about a year ago..and we've been talking back and forth often. I thought we were pretty good friends. Keep that in mind. I thought we were pretty good friends.

She commented back saying, "I don't think mine will. I believe as long as me and my (future) hubs live godly lives, we will be together forever."

There are many things I could have replied to that, but I chose upon, "Different religions, different beliefs. We just believe that which is bound on earth must be bound in heaven."

apparently that set her off? I mean, I could have been like, "WELL I THINK YOU'RE WRONG!" or, "THAT'S STUPID!" or I could have tried to preach to her about all kinds of Mormon beliefs.. but I didn't.

Later that evening I was looking around on myspace and noticed she had posted a bulletin, thinking it was probably a survey..which I'm guilty of being obsessed with surveys.

Nope, not a survey.

The first line read, "Sorry if this offends anyone."

It may as well have said, "This is for Kristin, and I hope it offends her."

Because I know it was directed right at me.

She went on to say that she disagrees with the "Mormom" religion. She said she thinks it's a cult and a load of crap. That we are stupid people that believe a 14 year old boy that was "probably tripping on indian acid" when he "found the scrolls." (cool, really?! didn't know he found scrolls!)

She said we don't know half of what we believe, that he just believe whatever the "elders" tell us and that we're not allowed to ask questions about our religion. (again, really? because every question I've ever had has been answered in complete honesty.)

She said that 90% of the people that initially believed Joseph Smith came out and later said that he made it up and that he killed them because he wanted fame and fortune. (That part just made me lol)

She also said that we walk around acting like we know the secret to life and that we believe our rewards in Heaven will be greater than "real Christians." And that we also rub other peoples faces in our religion.

Oh and that Mormon people are nice, but the leaders of the religion are really Satan in disguise.

K....I had no words.

It sucks that she feels that way about us. But that's not the part that bothered me the most, she was just poorly educated and believed whatever she probably read on an anti-mormon website.

What bothered me was her intolerance. The fact I thought we were pretty good friends, and why would she feel the need to do that? There's been PLENTY of times that she has said and done things that I was completely against, but I never once commented on it, because that's her business.

There are plenty of religions out there that I think seem a little silly and do not at all agree with, but I would never write something so ignorant about them. I thought the beautiful thing about living in America was our freedom to believe what we wanted to without persecution, but apparently not.

I just felt it was totally uncalled for.

But I suppose she has nothing to do, no job. And since she dated and fell in love with a Mormon that dumped her in Mormon Country - Salt Lake City - she felt the need to take it out on someone that never deserved it.

I commented back saying that I didn't know I walked about acting like I was better than anyone and that I didn't know I rubbed my religion in others' faces. Unless you count putting "I love my church" and things of the sort on my facebook status. But then again, I never commented or acted offended when her facebook, myspace and twitter was full of sex, drinking, smoking and cussing.

She stated that she grew up Christian - but would a Christian really do what she did?

She commented back on my comment, but only after I had deleted her on facebook, myspace an twitter..so I can't read it.

And it's probably better that way.

This isn't about me being mad that people don't believe what I believe. It's about not allowing me to believe it in peace.

Is it just me? Tell me I'm not crazy!

here we go again..

can I just say that I'm obsessed with this boot? I love the brown, but I'm also somewhat crazy about the red. I have a thing for red shoes. one problem..at $12o, there's no way I would be allowed to get them unless someone got them for me..the birthday is coming up. these are definitely at the top of the list. what do you guys think?

pretty excited because today was Matt's last-first day of school! In a few short months my hubby will be done forever! and although he's not one to show a lot of emotion, I know he's super excited! but not as excited as me, I don't think.

I am sooo dang excited for FALL! I think I've already said that, but I just love it. Here are some things I'm looking forward to...

• Ok, I can't remember the exact day, but in September, Paramore's new album "Brand New Eyes" comes out, looove them and cannot wait!
• September 18-21 Me and my friend Kelly are roadtrippin' to Statesville to visit my family! She has never been and wants to see the old homestead, and meet my family. Can't wait for my Mommy's home cookin'! and my brother might be in town too, haven't seen him in almost a year!
• October 21-my birthday! I'll be 22. Go me?
• November 17th-John Mayer's new album "Battle Studies" comes out, again...love him! and can't wait!
• November 21st I think? New Moon! SO EXCITED!
• Also in November, thanksgiving..
• And of course..Christmas.

I'm sure there's someting I missed, but I'll get to it later because my DH is home and I must go spend some quality time!

love.

the winds of change

well today was stake conference and Matt and I didn't go.

I know, bad kids. But it's all the way in Cola and Matt had to work soon after and wouldn't have been able to get back in time for work..so he decided to stay home and wanted me to stay with him.

today is a lazy day. I've been reading blogs all day since Matt left for work and before that we watched Cinderella Man. It was the only thing on, but it was pretty good.

So thankful to be off work today, you have no idea how much I LOVE lazy Sundays!

lately I can feel a change in myself. the realization that I'm growing up more. I've never considered myself that immature or anything, but as of late all I want to do is be inspired. learn. grow. become someone new. someone that doesn't put herself first, and no, that doesn't mean poor Matt has been suffering as I do what I want...but I can be pretty selfish sometimes. and now I just want to make him happy. I don't know how to describe it but I feel like it's seperating me from some of my friends. It's hard to be friends with people that are single..not saying I don't want to be their friend..but it's hard. You have different priorities, ambitions. and I want to be the new me, but I don't want to lose my single friends in the process.

oh, life.

ha.

I have a headache and I really want to watch A Knights Tale.

I also really want to whip up some brownies.

I think I'll go with option number one.

coming out.

186.

this is gonna be harder than I thought. I want to get down to around 140..so I've got quite a ways to go. this is honestly embarrassing.

and all day today temptation stared me in the face. especially the homemade chocolate cupcakes with homemade peanut butter icing sitting in the office. But I didn't give in.

then after work I went shopping (at Piggly Wiggly..what the heck? don't ask) for some healthy foods. Yogurt, sugar-free pudding, Lean Cuisines, Kashi, soups. Stuff like that. and water. lots and lots of water.

Now I'm waiting on my FIL (aka father-in-law) to get home with some turkey burgers because piggly wiggly totally doesn't carry them (why did I go there again?) and I'm really craving them.

my mother had to go on a diabetic diet. she went to the doctor and found out she's like a point away from having diabetes..sooo having her encouragement, knowing she's going through the same thing will help. I swear, that woman always has something wrong with her.

thought about trying Alli, but after hearing there's a good chance that I will have no control over my bowels, no thanks.

that is all.

PS-sorry about not posting yesterday (my bad, Candice!) but spending some quality time with the husband after work was worth missing a post in my book :-)

body issues

let's face it. as women, we always have body issues. None of us have ever been entirely happy with our bodies, and I'm no exception. I've always had issues with my body, even when I had no reason to. About three years ago, when I was at my thinnest and fittest (not a word) I wasn't happy with myself, still. I had a small tummy, but I hated my big hips and small, um, ahem, girls. Since then I've gained about forty pounds, and that really makes me think about how good I really looked. My "girls" have grown, but so has my tummy, hips, thighs, you name it. When I look back on that now, I love the way I looked then. I was thin, not fat or stick-skinny with nice curves. I wish I looked that way still. What is it about MARRIAGE? Not that I regret it, where would I be without my DH? But gaining the weight sucks, and it was more than the 10-15 they say you pack on..which I could have dealt with. No, forty!

So here begins my journey. I've "tried" a lot of dieting, and it always fails, but seriously now is the time and I have to do this. I have to control my weight before it gets too out of hand. I need support, so anybody that want to donate encouraging words/advice, I'm all ears. I plan on walking/yoga/eating healthy/vitamins..anything I can.

I also feels it's important to stay busy. I think I have a tendency to snack when I laze around on my butt. I am going to begin as of now. As a way to actually keep myself on this, I am going to post my weight. *cringe* That can wait til tomorrow.

I want to feel pretty again, heck, even sexy, because when I was smaller, I did feel sexy. I felt womanly and beautiful and I want to get back to that. Here's to hoping.

Now, bed. Up at 4 freakin' 30 for work. ugh.